In a small town named Lightsville, everything was perfect. No drama, no fights, everybody knew each other and were all friends. Until one day a boy named Luke, 19, moved to Lightsville with his brothers Beau and Jai who were 21 (Beau) and 19 (Jai).
The brothers had moved from Melbourne, Australia. Nobody knows, not even his brothers, that Luke was a wanted man. Luke is a robber, how could his brothers not know? He used to come home everyday with different items but had left home without money. They thought he just got money from his bank account and spent the money.
(Luke, 19)
(Picture Credits -https://www.flickr.com/photos/77995780@N00/galleries/72157631355109768/ )
2 Months Later...
Luke, Jai and Beau all have friends now and got along well with everyone from Lightsville. Still nobody knew Luke was a robber. Luke starts robbing people again and one person, Daniel, suspects it's him, he denies it and blames it on James another man from Lightsville.
“Luke did you steal from me?”
“No why would I steal from you? I thought we were friends. It was probably James.”
“Okay, atleast I know who could’ve possibly done it now. I thought it was you, because my ipod went missing after you came over, and now you have one so…”
“It wasn’t me, I just bought this one after I came home from visiting you.”
Daniel starts believing Luke and fights with James.
“James! I can’t believe you would steal my ipod!” Daniel said.
“I didn’t steal your ipod! Why would I do that you’re my best friend! I don’t even have an ipod anyway” James yelled back.
“Whatever, I know you did don’t try lying to me!”
Then James says, “Whatever” and walks away.
Daniel and James are no longer talking. Daniel and James were the best of friends until then, when Luke messed their relationship up.
Later on Luke steals from more and more families. Everybody in Lightsville started fighting. Now what used to be a calm, easy-going, drama free town, has turned into a chaotic mess. Some people tried fixing it but they couldn’t.
Finally Daniel catches Luke stealing from him and blaming it on James once again.
“Luke you’re lying I just watched you take money from my wallet! You lied about James stealing my ipod too! I can’t believe you! I thought you were my friend!” Daniel started yelling at Luke
“James did steal your ipod!” Luke said back.
“Then why are you taking money out of my wallet?”
Luke nervously said “ I um.. I’m getting it for.. James! He forced me to steal it!”
“You’re lying to me, again!” Daniel screamed.
Later On In That Day...
Daniel now tells everybody that it was “The Melbourne Boy” who was stealing from everybody.
Everybody, including his brothers, now finds out that Luke was “Melbourne’s Biggest Criminal” and decide to report him to the police in a bigger city nearby, named Romania. The police come immediately, obviously knowing that Luke is a wanted criminal.
Luke hears that the police are coming to send him to jail and hides. His brothers decide that, because he is their brother and they love him that they’ll hide him. After the police search for him for multiple hours, they decide to ask his brothers if they know where he’s hiding. Some of the questions they asked were,
“Have you seen your brother in the last 24 hours?”
“When did you last see him or have contact with him?”
“Where does he normally hang o`ut at?”
They deny that they know where he is but the police knew that with the antics of Beau and Jai that they knew something about where he was. They decide to interrogate them.
After two hours of questioning, “He’s in a secret room in our basement” Beau finally gives in knowing they would be in trouble for lying to the police if they didn’t tell.
“Thank you sir.”
They finally catch Luke, arrest him and later on the judge from the court sentences him 25 years with a chance of parole.
(Picture Credits - https://pixabay.com/en/handcuffs-chains-prison-freedom-354042/`` )
They all were returned their items ,plus a bonus of something of Luke’s for repayment of stealing.
James and Daniel are no longer fighting and have become friends again. Lightsville has now stopped the chaotic mess and fighting between everybody, it is now starting to return to normal again. Beau and Jai have also moved back to Melbourne.
Finally at last Lightsville is once again laid-back, calm and drama-free. Lightsville is peaceful again.
Dear Harley,
ReplyDeleteOne thing that really stuck out for me was how Luke tried to convince Daniel that James stole from him. You described their conversation to convince the reader that James stole from Daniel instead of Luke stealing from him. One thing that you could improve on is maybe not telling the readers that Luke is a robber. Instead of telling the readers that Luke is a robber you could say that Luke has a troubled past.
Dear Harley,
ReplyDeleteOne thing that I loved about your story is the way that Luke turned Daniel and James against each other and then Daniel finally figured out, I thought this was a very neatly put together story. One thing that I realized is that there were a few spelling errors. One thing that could help prevent the spelling errors is have a friend read the story before you post it or read it out loud to yourself so you can find the spelling errors.
Harley,
ReplyDeleteI loved how well put together your story is, your details are separated very well. Something that I noticed could be improved was some word misusage. You could improve this by reading through it a couple more times or have a friend read through it.
Dear Harley,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your story! I think that you used really good detail and I liked the where your setting was., I also liked the situation they were in and how it was solved.I think that could have had a little more detail on the characters. How you could fix this would be having more detail about who the people were and maybe what the town looked like.I am looking forward to reading more of your stories.